


Bittersweet

by Anonymous



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cunnilingus, F/M, Feels, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29915850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Solas finds himself in front of Lavellan's door on the eve of the final battle fighting a battle of his own resolve. Will he succumb to what he truly wants?
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24
Collections: Nobody Expects the Dragon Age Smutquisition





	Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adoxyinherear](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adoxyinherear/gifts).



Solas didn’t know why he found himself standing outside her door. He had ended things between them. Rather abruptly after removing the vallaslin from her face. She had stood in front of him, bare-faced and vulnerable, and he couldn’t tell her the truth. It had danced on the edge of his tongue for a brief moment and then he swallowed it back down. She had already been burdened with the mark. He would not add to it. This was a path he must walk on his own. And to do so, he had to hurt her. Make the break clean in the hopes that she would heal from it quickly. Perhaps even move on and take a different lover. _One that won’t cost her everything._

Yet here he was.

The wooden door was warm, heavy, under his palms and he pushed it open. Hinges in desperate need of oil, creaked as he entered. Carpet laid over stone muffled his footsteps. She slowly came into view. She was standing by the open window, the cool breeze ruffling her chin-length copper hair. It had been short when they first met. That fateful meeting in Haven. Her hand small and soft in his. His magic, his mark, etched into her palm. The look of surprise when she stitched a tear closed with her focus, her will.

From the tension in her shoulders, he could tell she knew he was there. Neither of them spoke. The silence stretched between them, threatening to snap at any moment. He was prepared for her anger if that was what she wanted to give him. He would take it. But with the battle with Corypheus looming on the horizon, he wanted to see her. It was selfish of him, really.

“Are you ready?” she asked, breaking the tense silence.

“Are you?” he countered.

She laughed a laugh filled with bitterness and a tinge of sadness. “No, but I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“No.”

She heaved a sigh. “Why are you here, Solas?”

“I—”

_I wanted to see you. To spend this moment with you. To test my resolve one more time. To know that I am truly making the correct choice._

She turned to look at him. Two green eyes, one brighter than the other due to the mark, focused on him. They pinned him to the spot. It wasn’t often that he was at a loss for words. Should he tell her the truth? Should he lie? Spin a story as Varric often said?

She shook her head. “Nevermind. I’m just glad you are.”

“You are?”

“I don’t want to be alone,” she admitted. “Not right now. Not when I might die tomorrow.”

_I would never allow it._

Her eyes landed on him once more, keeping him in place. “Will you stay?”

He should say no. It was a bad idea. If he did, he might lose his resolve. The veil would remain for as long as it could and he would live as Solas. He would live with his heart, his home, and do his best to forget the pain and suffering he had wrought on this world. His people. But looking at her, seeing her, and the way she was looking at him with open vulnerability, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“If that is what you want,” he answered, giving her a moment to be the rational one between them because he couldn’t be.

It was a foolish expectation.

In a few steps, the distance was closed between them and she reached for him. Her fingers gripped the fabric of his shirt. Desperation clung to her lips just as she clung to him. Solas drank it in, his fingers undoing the buttons of her jacket. Clothes fell to their feet in a heap. Jacket, tunic, undershirts, pants. They tumbled into her bed—the bed with very large naked Qunari on either side that she had purchased because it had made him roll his eyes in the shop—both completely bare. The chill of the night air was offset by a roaring fire and their own heat.

Solas’ mouth moved from her lips, down her neck, across her collarbone, and in-between her breasts. _This is the last time._ He kissed the scar underneath her left breast and down to her navel. _Savor it._ Her thighs parted for him, offering a view of the small coppery curls that covered her mound. _Savor her._ Solas pressed his lips to her inner thigh and she whined in protest.

He would miss her eagerness. The way she threw herself into everything she did. From fighting to learning to making love. She always offered every last bit of herself. And it terrified him. There were many times where he was afraid for her and of her. She threatened to unravel him to his very core. He almost let her. He should’ve let her.

“Solas, please,” she murmured, raising her hips up to meet him.

If things weren’t so dire, he might’ve teased her. Edged her for as long as she could handle it. But she wasn’t the only one who was desperate.

Her breath stuttered when his tongue found the small bundle of nerves hidden in her folds. He lost himself in everything shuddering breath she drew, every gasp, and every moan. Fingers sank within in her—first one and then two and then three—searching for the spot that he knew would unravel her. Soft thighs cradled him as she clenched around his fingers. She kept him there, held him until she reached for him. Her fingers gripped his chin and she guided him back up.

Solas wanted to stay between her legs. It was easier than looking her in the face. He was afraid of what he would find. Afraid of the loving expression she often had when they were together. It just might break him. But as usual, she rarely gave him a choice. Her hands cupped his face, thumbs smoothing over cheekbones, and he couldn’t help but look at her.

He found everything he was afraid to find.

_I’m not worthy._

She reached between them, her fingers ghosting over his stomach before she wrapped them around the base of his cock. With her eyes staring into his, she stroked him. Slowly. Incrementally. Solas’ fingers gripped the sheets as she teased him. But she didn’t tease him for long. Her hips rose up to meet his and he sank into her. Became one with her with limbs entangled and entwined. With every thrust, they held each other tighter. Neither wanted to be the first to let go.

But Solas would.

He had to.

The fire was low, merely embers now.

Solas sat on the edge of the bed. She was still fast asleep behind him. He didn’t wake her. The dawn would come soon enough. And with it, the march back to Haven to face Corypheus for what could be the last time. Solas was that much closer to the orb. Perhaps he could salvage what remained of his plan after all.

A deep breath behind him made him pause.

He couldn’t shake the guilt. It weighed heavy in his chest. _I should’ve told her the truth._ Solas scrubbed his hand down his face. He couldn’t keep rehashing this. What was done was done. And what will be done has to be done. It was his duty.

Solas’ fingers wrapped around the halla bone that rested on his chest. He pulled it over his head, holding in his palm for a moment before he set it down on the table beside her bed. If…when she returned to Skyhold—his gift to her—he hoped it would offer her a measure of comfort. Or perhaps it was mere selfishness. A plea that she not forget him nor the love they shared. The very _real_ love that had seared itself into his very bones.

He would never forget her. She would always be his vhenan. And when he walked the dinan’shiral he would remember the taste of her on his tongue, the pink that blossomed under her skin, and the way they fit together as if they were made for one another.


End file.
